Over the years, many movements have come and gone.
Turbo Shokk has arrived and they're bringing their perfected version of hair metal to the masses.
Normally this intro would be a bit bigger, but our new friends are rather long winded, so let's just let them go at it.
Glacially Musical: Thank you for taking some time for me today. The word on the street is that Turbo Shokk is the real hair metal and everything else is just false metal. How did you become the first hair metal band?
Michael Arcane (drums): Whoa whoa whoa, you got it all wrong. We didn’t invent hair metal, we just perfected it, and are bringing it back. Like, I didn’t invent the grilled cheese sandwich either, but I did perfect it. The secret ingredient? Lots and lots of butter. Same as Turbo Shokk.
Razor O'Shea (guitar): You're close--we're the first Hair REPLACEMENT metal band. We make hard rockin' music for balding people. Every riff I write is like support group catharsis in audio form.