Pizza Pie Do or Die with Zero Fire

Zero Fire

If you haven't by now, check out Zero Fire.

You'll be glad that you did.

In the meantime, let's talk pizza while you check out their BANDCAMP.

Talking Pizza with Canadians is always my favorite.

They add those cute, little, superfluous U's and talk about Canada.

Oh wait, I mean Caunada.

1. Pizza is the world's most perfect food. This is not up for debate. Please define pizza as based on your geographical location.

ET: Pizza in Hamilton and Ontario at large is just a mirror of other types of pizza across the globe. We have our typical chains — Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's; with the added bonus of Ontario's least favourite pizza company, Pizza Pizza. 

It's hilarious how much Pizza Pizza sucks. Their Cheddar Jalapeno dips are otherworldly, however. And almost completely make up for the cardboard with sauce that is Pizza Pizza. 

Hamilton has a gem nestled away right in the middle of the mountain communities, called Chicago Style Pizza. As you can guess — they do a damn good deep dish pizza. Their regular pizzas are excellent as well. 

But it's really the only place around where you can get an authentic deep dish pizza. And it's very comparable to some of the best you can get in Chicago. Skeptics are turned into devout followers within a single bite. You've been warned. 

GK: I basically agree with everything Erik said here, Chicago Style Pizza in Hamilton is amazing, and in terms of chains, I really enjoy Topper's Pizza, which I think is Canadian. Also have a next level garlic dip, and their pizza is insanely tasty.

2. It's going to get controversial now. Pineapple on Pizza. Why or why not? 

ET: Personally, yes because I'm not a child. 

I went to a New Jersey IHOP once and the waiter told me that if I felt too full, to eat some pieces of pineapple because pineapple will speed up your metabolism. 

According to this waiter, pineapple is like a life hack for your stomach. 

And if what he's saying is in fact correct, that would mean that by eating pineapple on your pizza, you're speeding up your metabolism, thereby allowing you to automatically consume more pizza. Therefore, Pineapple-on-Pizza defenders are actual pizza lovers. 

Anti-Pineapple folks are just some straight up bustas, they probably don't even like pizza, probably don't have respect for their mother, etc. 

GK: All of Erik's pineapple-science aside, I am not down with pineapple on pizza myself, but I'm also the kind of person who orders their burger with essentially just ketchup, cheese and bacon, so my opinion is probably not valid here. 

Pineapple on it's own though? All day.

3. For literally years, my family didn't order pizza from the take out places. We made Chef Boyardee boxed pizzas. After that, we only ordered St. Louis Style from Imo's. 

But finally in the LATE EIGHTIES, I had Domino's Pizza. Tell me your tale.

ET: I've been eating pizza since the first time I ate pizza. And that was at least a very long time ago. I'm all about Domino's Pan Pizza, and that's really my story. 

GK: I definitely consume pizza far more than any human probably should, but yeah, one of my earlier introductions to pizza was through the McDonalds Pizza as a kid. (Note: wait..wut?)

That thing was awesome, but it basically went against the whole concept of fast food because you had to sit and wait 10 minutes in the drive-thru for it to actually be ready, but damn was that delicious.

4. St. Louis Style Pizza is the perfect pizza, especially if you enjoy bragging about how much pizza you can eat, but when I'm out in other parts of the country, I seek out Chicago Style Pizza. What do you look for?

ET: By "other parts of the country" I assume you mean the states. Y'all are spoiled, man. There's so much pride and enjoyment surrounding how Americans bomb their arteries. 

Quite literally the only reason I'd move to the States is to be surrounded by endless trash food options. 

When I'm travelling in the states, I like to try weird little chains I've never heard of before. Last time I was in Ohio, I tried to order Hungry Howie's and the place was closed. 

I'll get you next time, you son of a bitch! 

GK: Yeah, been to Chicago and had Giordano's, that was pretty great. I'm with Erik though, I like trying the random one-off mom and pop pizza places, because you'll almost always get something different. 

Might not always be good, but how do you know until you try it?

5. Pepperoni, started giving me heartburn. So I switched to green peppers or onions. What's your go to topping?

ET: Pepperoni, Green Peppers, Tomatoes. Sometimes throw some feta or goat cheese on there if I'm feeling like a fancy boi. 

GK: I'm a pepperoni guy. If I'm feeling it I'll throw some bacon on there, or maybe extra cheese if I just want to completely destroy my insides. But yeah, I keep it real simple.

6. What do you look for in pairing beer with your pie?

ET: My favourite beer is Creemore Springs. It's good with anything — pizza, pasta, self-loathing — you name it. (Note: on a trip to Hamilton, I brought back a 10 pack of that stuff from the duty free shop.)

I like a good blonde ale with pizza as well. Nicklebrook's Cause and Effect or Collective Arts' Saint of Circumstance sounds like a nice little slice of heaven.

GK: We have an awesome beer up here called Mill St. Organic that I quite like, so I would go with that, or if I'm somewhere I can't grab that, probably a Stella.