Thursday, February 15, 2018

Straight Interview with Necrosexual

Necrosexual and Friends
Every so often there comes an artist that's so magnetic, so gradniose, and so damned yeah...that we need a second taste of from the Bonus Cup.

Necrosexual was the first person who answered our Iron Maiden review.

Because of that, it was high time we learned more about what makes this young(?) man tick.

What we found out may shock you. It may alarm you.

You may also need to change your sheets before you read this, because ask yourself, how long has it been since you changed the sheets? It occurs to me that my daughter needs new sheets on her bed, but she has to get the toys off of it first.

Where were we?

Ah yes, what's surely going to be the greatest moment in rock journalism history. This is going to make us the C. Thomas Howell of Rock Journalism...get your cuppa tea ready...because you're going to get to meet Necrosexual.....

Glacially Musical: Thank you for taking a moment out of your sexy(?) ice filled cabin in the Poconos to have a chat with us.

Necrosexual: ...

GM: Ok, moving on. Let's talk about those Poconos shall we. Is this the same place that Barry, who used to be known as the Tick was vacationing when The Tick showed up at the Superhero Bar?

NS: Probably.  I haven't seen the Tick since the animated show on Fox Kids in 1995, so I'll have to take your word on that one. 

The Poconos are referenced a lot in pop culture. There was an episode of Boy Meets World where the two dillweeds got snowed in while on a skiing trip in the Poconos. 

GS: Do you think the Poconos is a place that would attract superheroes on their days off? 

NS: It's a place that attracts the Grim One on his heavy metal holidays. I relocated to Necro-Philiadelphia in 2006 and have been there ever since. 

But I still visit the Poconos when I'm feeling nostalgic to listen to all my favorite Phil Collins records in my mom's basement. My guitarist, Anthony Vigo Gabriele, still resides in the 

GM: There's a little talk of the icy ski slopes, being someone who lives next door to the Great Plains, tell me how the Icy Slopes are different from snowy slopes.

NS: The Northeast, especially the Poconos, is pretty miserable for skiing. Most of the time the trails are slicked over with ice, the mountains are more like hills, and it's swarming with posers from New York and New Jersey who suck at skiing. 

The brutal ski conditions inspired me to write "BLACK METAL WHITE WINTER" off the GRIM 1 album.

GM: What do you do in order to make your riffs so crushing that you can crush the hardiest urak hais?

NS: I imagine I'm writing my riffs as entrance music for the NAZGUL. Evil thrashing death, glorious yet terrifying. 

GM: Please compare and contrast your Black Metal Goodness to modern day poser black metal badness.

NS: A lot of "big" Black Metal bands sound like they're ripping off the three or four second wave Norweigan who made an impact, or they are actually more like screeching emo new wave ambient noise. 

I'm not sure which is worse, but I ignore most of it. I think the Necrosexual is black metal the way it's meant to be played, loud and with ATTITUDE. In that regard Venom is probably one of my biggest influences, which makes sense, because they are the innovators of Black Metal. 

I aim to inject my own colorful brand of chaos in the music and the look of GRIM 1.

GM: Do you find that drinking black tea all day works as well as drinking black coffee? Or are you a cream and sugar guy?
NS:  I must give credit to TRVE KVLT KOFFEE for endorsing the Necrosexual. Their coffee is the blackest of the black roast and only for the hardiest of hell raisers. 

Check them out at on the Instagrim. 

GM: How long will it take you to crack the code and save us all from the Illuminati?

NS: I'm still trying to crack my ex-girlfriend's Netflix password. You'll have to get back to me on that one. 

GM: I ask, because a friend of mine was telling me the foil hats I have for, ya know, deep thinking, have been penetrated by the illuminati, and frankly I'm scared.

Should I be scared or switch to like wax paper hats?

NS: Wax paper is flammable, so it poses a danger if you are smoking a glass pipe for "deep thinking purposes," and peaking out between the duct taped windows to see if that white van is still following you. 

GM: What's the ultimate fanhood to be a part of do you think?
NS: I'm still waiting on my Franzia endorsement. 

I've been Fanboying for them hard since their Merlot first hit my black lips.

No comments:

Post a Comment